I do a bit more childcare than average

I have to be careful when I talk about parenting, coming from a man it sounds bad. Still, much of modern parenting trends (by which I mean, "how middle class parents raise their kids") seem to be about ruining mothers' lives as much as possible.

Patriarchy in action

My wife gets guilty. Worries if she's doing enough for them. Beats herself up about having birthday parties for them. Takes them places.

I don't feel guilty at all. Ever! Right from the birth of our first child my wife and I have split the childcare and housework equally. The expectations on fathers are so low I cleared them years ago. In the society's eyes I'm a hero.

Mr. Mom

I'm fine with sitting here writing this while they tear around me, playing. My self-serving theory is that children develop best through knocking about. No need to get them in the car and give them a learning experience. I might take them out later, but only if I get bored.

It can be a pain though, Dadding. Everyone in the NHS treats you somewhere between a family friend and a potential kidnapper. Taking my youngest for his vaccinations led to the question, "does his mother know he's here?" Needless to say, my wife does not get asked about me when it's her turn at the doctor's.

Having been through the last four years I hold the following to be equally true:

1. It has been a gift. Shocking that I could have sleepwalked into missing out on this time with my children.
2. It is a great burden, one which I now couldn't possibly expect my wife to bear alone. 

All in all, I recommend making the childcare as even as possible. Dads are generally lazier. I recommend more laziness in parenting.

Jah Jah Johnston Hall of Fame: Randy Travis

Easy reasons why country music is good: songs written for adults; good singers.

Here's Randy in full flow.

He's had his troubles. Here's a more recent photo.

Jah Jah Johnston wishes him a full recovery.

We forget Elton John at our peril

Sauerkraut, our greatest teacher. 5 life lessons from fermented vegetables

First thing: forget vinegar. We're talking here about fermentation. 

There are recipes for making sauerkraut. Here's one. Here's another. You don't really need anything other than this:

Cut vegetables up. Sprinkle with salt. Bash around a bit (or not, if you can't be bothered). Shove into a jar. Top up with water if necessary. Use a jar or similar to keep the vegetables below the water level. Leave. Top up with water if the level goes down. Make sure the vegetables stay under water. Try it every few days. Put in the fridge when it's to your satisfaction.

That's it. An easy way to keep your vegetable intake up. Tangy, nice with some meat. Lasts forever. Great! But the real gift is in how it changes your world.

Some Sauerkraut

1. You know the world isn't just a collection of visible objects, but you don't quite believe it, not really. Watching something change through the interaction of millions of bacteria who are making something to eat: that's a trip.
2. It subtly undermines an internalised worldview that something's value comes from its price, and that legitimacy is conferred through capitalism and exchange, i.e. it is good because it comes from a shop.
3. You have to rely on your senses. It is ready when you think it tastes nice. Not when Giles Coren says it tastes nice. 
4. It is not a recipe but a process. You're not making something, you're allowing something. Or watching something. The world is not a collection of static objects moved around by people with agency.
5. The recognition that you may not be who you think you are. You are not a single voiced "soul" housed in a flesh robot. You are a system and collection of cells, many of whom (bacteria) do not share "your" DNA. You are a community. Embracing that, and looking after the little guys, can have a huge effect on your health, immunity and mood.

I can say these things, and you may find them plausible, but it is only in doing that we internalise the ancient wisdom of the veg picklers.

Just make some sauerkraut already. 

Reclaiming the British Hinterland for the mainstream

Did you see Hinterland? It's a Welsh detective series currently being shown on BBC4. We'll come back to that.

Its characters switch between English and subtitled Welsh. When was the last time you heard Welsh on television? Britain's second language, and it's never heard by non-Welsh speakers. 1% of the British population speak it, and the other 99% are never exposed to it. Ever. You could go your whole life watching British media and never be confronted with the beauties of Welsh. Not saying the rest of us should speak any, but to never hear it? 

Watching it I caught glimpses of another possible Britain, one in which we are used to hearing other British accents and languages, where they weren't presented as other and strange to an audience assumed to be from the South East of England.  

Hinterland looks beautiful, it's exciting. It's mainstream. Now, I'm not saying it's particularly good; the reviews have been very kind. It was a bit silly, and full of the usual crime series cliches. But it is mainstream. The only thing which is different is it's not entirely in English. It should be on BBC 1, and it was originally shown there (IN WALES) but for the rest of the country it's confined to BBC 4, home of the European drama series. Something which should be completely natural to us has been made niche. 

A similar story with The Fall, a crime drama set in Belfast. The best thing about it, by far, was its Belfast location. But that location wasn't presented matter-of-factly, as somewhere natural to tell a story, but instead made strange through the eyes of a visiting southern English detective, the way in for the assumed (English, Southern) viewer. 

The British countryside looks a lot more like this:

Yorkshire Dales

And this:

Bodmin Moor

And this:

Black Mountains

And this:

Peak District

And this:

Loch Lomond

And this:

Lake District

Than it does like this:

Don't know - England though, right?

Or this:

Kent

And our cities more like this:

Glasgow

And this:

Newcastle

And this:

Leeds

And this:

Belfast

Than this:

Not sure - not a British city by the looks of it

Yet all of Britain is presented as other compared to an assumed South East norm, undermining any sense of British identity. All of the regions feel alienated from "Britain" (i.e. the South East). There's been a decades long propaganda campaign to normalise the un-British ways of the greater London region. Enough! Time to point the finger the other way. We're not different, London, you are. You cockney fucks. 

Better Living Through Fermented Vegetables

I've just been chopping cabbage for sauerkraut.

I need to do a series of posts on the glories and wisdom of sauerkraut. It may be the simplest, most cost effective way to improve your life. It's doesn't even have to be cabbage. I'm quite partial to some sauerrüben, myself. And of course sour beets.

People often say, "this book changed my life" when what they mean is they really liked it. Well, this book might actually change your life, Sandor Ellix-Katz's Wild Fermentation. He can get a bit freaky deaky, but in its essentials it's killer.

Here's a video of the man. The book also includes yoghurt, cheese, bread and booze.

There are profound insights ahead for anyone willing to stuff some grated carrot in a jar.

The Brilliant Spanish

Since I last had a regular blog I've moved out of London and had two children. However, the biggest change in my mentality is a cooling of my crush on the USA and a mental embrace of Spain. It appears I must always construct a magical place in my head, somewhere to enliven everyday reality. If I could only split my time between my home, and this other, everything will be OK. I'm predicting the next one will be Germany.

Anyway.

Spain!

How glorious and confounding!

My favourite thing about Spain is the propensity of its parents to dress their children in sailor suits for special occasions. Now, this does sometimes happen in Britain, generally for birthday parties. The children look like this:

In Spain, there is fierce latin pride in play. They don't dress them up for fun, but for very special occasions like first communions. And if we're playing that game, why act as if this child has been press ganged from a Portsmouth tavern? My child is special. My child is a high ranking officer. And they dress them up like this.

And this:

And this:

Spain!