Proclaiming the Proclaimers are brilliant

The original title of this post was "The Proclaimers: Britain's most underrated band?"

After spending a bit of time "researching" on YouTube I realise I sell them hilariously short. They are obviously Britain's most underrated band. And they will continue to be so until British popular opinion catches up with the obvious: they are the only British band to give the Fall any competition as the greatest ever.

Allow me to make my case…

Bubbling sauerkraut.

Aspergers Test

It's not hard to tell the difference between these two bears, is it? I can do it at a glance. My Dad and my wife don't score much above random.

Klaus Klawski and Pedro Almodobear

I think they're a bit aspie.

Lifestyle tip #1: Buy your winter coat today!

Are you going to need a new coat this winter? Buy it now. No one's buying coats today.

Here's a US military surplus peacoat on eBay.

It is almost certainly better than your coat.

70s Beatles: Wolfish Grin (not) released in 1973

No Beatles album for two years probably created impossible expectations. What seemed, post-Ziggy, a little disappointing can now be appreciated as a very solid album. There are a few missteps, but here is a band fully operating as a band, as the famous artwork suggests. Still, for the first time they weren't driving popular culture forward.

Though it was always billed as "some time off" the truth was no one really knew if there would be another Beatles album. It was Ringo who worked to bring everyone back together, and his new leadership is reflected in his increased presence on the album.

Listen to the whole album (on YouTube).

Side A

1) SINGLE PIGEON

Not a dramatic start to the album. May explain the critical under appreciation.

2) JOHN SINCLAIR

Lennon brings the politics and edge.

3) THE LORD LOVES THE ONE (THAT LOVES THE LORD)

George still deep in his hippy stage.

4. PHOTOGRAPH

New writing partnerships were finally happening within the band. Ringo wrote this one with George.

5. JET

Lennon hated it, refused to play on it or let it be a single. Surely would have been a hit. My 4 year old son's favourite Beatles song. 

6. MIND GAMES

Lennon insisted in this as the single. First real Beatles flop.

Side B

1. I'M THE GREATEST

Seemed a little vainglorious at the time but this is the biggest band in the world, back after a break.

2. LITTLE LAMB DRAGONFLY

3. GIVE ME LOVE (GIVE ME PEACE ON EARTH)

Hippy George. 

4. OUT THE BLUE

Gentle, soppy Lennon. 

5. LET ME ROLL IT

As I say, it's a decent album, but no real arguments that they were going off the boil.

Listening to these "Beatles" "albums"

Unfortunately I can't do Spotify playlists -- Lennon's a holdout -- but here you go, YouTube playlists for the ones I've done so far.

Newsagent Bacon?



Puck!

70s Beatles: Puck! (not) released in 1971

After the critical and commercial success of Newsagent Bacon? the Beatles came back reinvigorated with Puck! You can guess what Lennon wanted to call it. Thankfully the others' commercial instincts and Starr's newfound interest in Shakespearean comedy (playing Bottom in Peter Brook's Old Vic production of that year) led to the compromise title.

McCartney and Lennon, though still stripped back, embraced a fuller sound on this record. Their new confidence led to a reduction in Harrison's presence. Harrison and Starr still had something of a backlog to work through (because they hadn't released any solo albums of course, wink).

Imagine was released as a non-album single, so don't worry about finding it here.

Side A.

1. GIVE ME SOME TRUTH

Stomping, politics. Lennon's back.

2. ISN'T IT A PITY

George may have been marginalised on this release, but he secured second song status.

3. HEART OF THE COUNTRY

With his usual literalism Paul came up with this. He was, indeed, still living in the country.

4. JEALOUS GUY

John's first big single in a while.

5. UNCLE ALBERT/ADMIRAL HALSEY

A return to the song suite style of Abbey Road closes out the side.

Side B

1. WITHOUT HER

Ringo given the kick-off track, for once. Nice one, Ringo!

2. CRIPPLED INSIDE

3. DEAR BOY

Another McCartney song whose effortlessness puts us off a bit.

4. OH YOKO!

John really insisted this one was on the record. Almost split the band up over it.

5. THE BACK SEAT OF MY CAR

Breaking character a bit, but isn't it a choker that this wasn't the way history panned out?

6. ALL THINGS MUST PASS

This song was the last word from the Beatles for two years, leading to much speculation that they were done. As we know, this wasn't the case, and they returned in '74 with Wolfish Grin.

70s Beatles

Yeah. I'm going to do this, I think. There's a great 1971 album out there, and 1973. Maybe I'll burn a few CDs and do a giveaway.

Now, let's say the Beatles hadn't broken up. Their next album.

Couple of years back I had this idea of starting a new blog. A blog dedicated to a counter history in which instead of breaking up the Beatles had taken some time out and decided to keep it going, producing themselves with guest help.

I figured it was possible to get at least another 10 Beatles albums by cobbling together the '70s solo work. I was going to design artwork and everything.

Bonkers.

I just found an iTunes playlist for a suggested line-up. I'm not an enormous Beatles fan, but it's quite fun to listen to these songs. They're like Beatles songs, but not so overfamiliar you can't hear them anymore. This is the order I put them in back then. I'm not going to go through and edit again. You may disagree with these - I may too.

OK, here we go, the Beatles' next album: NEWSAGENT BACON?. I think it's at least as good as half of their other albums, and a nice way of getting the pleasure of listening to the Beatles without the crushing cultural weight of THE BEATLES.

SIDE A:

1. WHAT IS LIFE

George was only going to rejoin if he had a bigger influence in the band. So they let him kick it all off.

2. EVERY NIGHT

Paul had been taking it easy in a farm. Mood change! Pretty, inconsequential. McCartney!

3. REMEMBER

And here's Lennon. This isn't a brilliant song, but then again, there was always a load of filler on Beatles' albums (Doctor Robert, Run for Your Life, about a third of the White Album).

4. TEDDY BOY

Macca again. Frankly, Macca's are all a bit throwaway, but lovely in their way.

5. HOLD ON

Sounds a bit like a Paul song. Is John. Potential single. John needs one, hard to see where else it's going to come from.

6. BEAUCOUPS OF BLUES

You have to stick Ringo somewhere. May as well be here. Not actually terrible. For Ringo.

7. MY SWEET LORD (SINGLE)

And a big single from George to finish the side.

SIDE B:

1. MAYBE I'M AMAZED (SINGLE)

Paul kicks off Side B with their biggest single in years. Consider this the demo for a full Beatles production.

2. LOVE

Brings it down a bit. This might be a B-Side.

3. JUNK

4. ISOLATION

Paul and John taking it in turns at the moment.

5. WAH WAH

George brings the energy up! He was allowed 3 songs. This is his third. Not as good as the other two.

6. MAN WE WAS LONELY

Self-referential Beatles talk from Paul. They always need one of these.

7. MOTHER

Lennon insisted this be first or last on the album. The others decided last was best. More easily skippable.

Now, wasn't that fun? Might do this again.

UPDATE:

OK, here's the backstory. After Let It Be is released the Beatles are on the verge of breaking up. Peace was brokered over 10 days of air-clearing in the Welsh Black Mountains. This summit goes down in Beatles history as "the Erics", brokered as it was by Erics Clapton and Idle. Yoko is accepted, George's contribution publicly acknowledged and Ringo… carries on as before. Paul and John decide to make stripped back low-key statements and ride on the back of George's stuff for one album, at least. They make a break with the '60s by deciding to move on from George Martin's production. From now on their albums will have several producers, all under the guiding hand of "The Beatles".

Allsop, women, university and missing the point

So everyone's losing their shit about Kirsty Allsop saying that girls should think about not going to university at 18, but instead working, getting a flat, having kids. Some of the unspoken assumptions in the responses:

1. Kirsty Allsop is worth listening to on this.
2. Her opinion will counteract the (overwhelming) societal pressure to go to university.
3. Having children young is regressive and disempowering to women.
4. Going to university is A Good Thing.

Allsop!

I think we can probably agree that we've all got carried away with (2). A voice suggesting a different path is not going to roll back votes for women.

I'm leaving (3). Obvious that there are different ways to live a happy life.

Now, (4). We tend to think that university is a good thing, that people benefit from it, and the more people we can get there the better. More women, more ethnic minorities: we're on our way to a better society!

However, I have a hunch... Power is increasingly entrenched; more women going to university is a signal not of progress, but of the lessening importance of a university education in amassing real power.

A degree does not increase your options, it changes them. Most graduates will go on to work for big companies and institutions. They will earn steady salaries in return for corporate drudgery. They will do the housework of capitalism, they will not be its masters.

Bet you're glad you did that degree.

Now, on (1), turns out Kirsty Allsop IS worth listening to, on this point, anyway. Not because she is a public figure, but because she is very posh. Posh people have power. They know other powerful people. If they're cooling on university it's not because they have been displaced by bright kids from Tower Hamlets. They know things.

Power's elusive. Any institutional route is a bait and switch.

Here! Have a degree, it's the keys to the kingdom!
Right. Got the key. Now, where's that kingdom?

May as well join the army instead. At least you'll get taught how to ski.

Jah Jah at a speed awareness course!

Mandy Pantinkin: crops up more frequently than you'd expect

We've been watching a lot of Criminal Minds recently.

It's no good. The characters are stock-types, the stories silly. It's completely unrealistic.

What a relief! How soothing to spend time with something designed to entertain you, something which isn't always demanding your nodding respect.

Let's raise a toast to the unchallenging. To the loose ends tied up in a big bow. To the good-looking characters cracking wise. To the exciting. To the fun! To the things which can be both laughed-at, and legitimately enjoyed.

Now, careful. I'm not recommending it. The stupidity:quality ratio is fine for us, but your mileage may vary. Still, I think it's probably a good idea for everyone to have a Criminal Minds in their lives. It needn't be this one. Choose your own Criminal Minds.