This Sporting Life

Wrote a thing about This Sporting Life over at the other place.

Ha! Of course another blog.

Hey kids, I've got another blog on the go. It's Yorkshire-focused, but hopefully not too niche. It's taking a broad view, not "best curry in Shipley".

Anyway, latest thing is about imagery and canonical places. If you're ever interested in what I write here you might be interested in what I write there. 

Coming to terms with Leeds

Leeds isn’t cool. 

Other similar cities have had their “moment”: Liverpool in the early ‘60s and ‘80s, Manchester in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s. Leeds hasn't had a moment. 

West Yorkshire should be more closely associated with the British filmmaking New Wave -- Tony Richardson is from Shipley, Keith Waterhouse is from Leeds -- but although some of the best examples were filmed here they tended to be set in general “Northern Land” rather than Leeds (/Bradford/Halifax).

Other cities have their bands. The obvious Manchester and Liverpool ones… Sheffield has Pulp, Human League, even the Arctic Monkeys. 

Leeds has The Kaiser Chiefs, who are too well known to be cool, and The Wedding Present, who probably aren’t well known enough. There was a time in the late ‘90s when the “Superclub” was a thing, and Leeds had a few of those, but tastemakers quickly reclassified them as naff. Bad luck, Leeds.

Having it in Majestyk's, Leeds

Leeds is hard to root for. 

It’s not small enough to be an inspiring underdog. It’s not far enough away to be exotic, like Newcastle. 

And the football team! Everyone hates the football team. Dirty Leeds. Violent Leeds. Racist Leeds. 

A Leeds United Fan

What looks like general dislike of Leeds is actually distaste. It’s just so common.

A terrific counterweight to the anti-Leeds narrative is Promised Land: A Northern Love Story by Anthony Clavane. It’s the story of a city, its football team, and its once large, now dwindling, Jewish population. 

Clavane argues that Don Revie’s Leeds United belong with those other northern influences which made the ‘60s: Harold Wilson, Billy Liar, the Beatles, David Hockney, the Liverpool poets etc etc. 

Yes, Revie’s team. Any reference to which is described by Giles Smith as:

The nuclear option. There is, quite simply, nowhere to go after that. There has never been a more horrible team.

This is an embedded view, deepened by The Damned United: Clough’s beautiful spirit crushed by Revie and Leeds.

There is another version of this story. Leeds, under Revie, went from second division to first division runners up in 3 years, winning the title four years later. A team which replaced its kit so it could be more like Madrid. A team with ambition who did everything necessary to win.  And why shouldn't they? Why should they settle for being the team the rightful winners play against?

This Leeds was an insurgent, revolutionary force, loathed by the establishment. Why does public opinion side with the establishment on this one? Clavane tells us the FA (public school Corinthians) were:

Appalled by Revie. They considered his attempt to develop a ruthless, fiercely competitive, hard-headed winning machine to be, at best, ungentlemanly. At worst, they claimed, it heralded the game’s loss of innocence.

This Leeds reminds me of Chelsea. Chelsea were popular when they were losing gallantly under Ranieri. When Mourinho took over and they too became a winning machine, the greatest team of the modern era, people went off them. It doesn’t do to upset the natural order. Chelsea had money too, of course, but how else are you going to do it nowadays?

Don't they look young.

Anyway, Revie eventually left Leeds and they became mediocre (and still disliked). 

Actually, for a while they were both good and popular. In the late 90s and early ‘00s they had a dashing young team terrorising Europe. That team was part of the North’s last “moment”, when its cities made a play to turn themselves into city break destinations, the Superclubs were dominant and London seemed a little bit staid. Clavane is very good at tying this all together, with the team part of a rebranded outwards-looking Leeds.

Then the club imploded, to widespread delight. It's worth considering what exactly it was that people were so happy about.

The Fall of Leeds was presented as some kind of early noughties morality tale, a parable of greed, excess and hubris. How deluded to think they could build a team to match the citadels of Manchester and London, let alone Milan and Madrid.

Now the South and the establishment has reasserted itself entirely.

Let us not fall into the traps set by the forces of conservatism. Let us not disdain Leeds. Let us celebrate Leeds the Upstart! Leeds the Dreamer! Leeds the Beautiful!

A few such moments.

1) One month in ’72 Revie’s Leeds beat Nottingham Forest 6-1, Manchester United 5-1 and Southampton 7-0. The last of these is famous. You’ve seen the clips before, but they’re always worth a couple of minutes of your time. The goals are on the first video. Not great quality, but you can see what’s going on. (Music by T-Rex, the least Leeds band ever.) I’d suggest you go straight to the second video and soak up the showboating (from 6 minutes).  

 2) Some Cantona greatness from his season at Leeds (so not repeated beyond impact); 21 seconds in. 

3) And that time when for a few weeks in the mid-90s Tony Yeboah was the best player in the world.

Jose Mourinho don't impress me much, and what is it with butterflies?

We, the English-speaking peoples, assume that each language is different, and you either speak it or you don't. That's our experience of learning.

There's no other language where we would follow the gist without having studied it. People sometimes say Frisian. Best of luck.

For many non-English speakers this is not the case. The Scandinavians can understand each other, the various branches of the Slavic languages are mutually intelligible, Hindi/Urdu etc.

A Spanish friend recently told me that he could understand around 70% of Portuguese and Italian, though he'd never had a lesson in either.

Check it out. Here's how you say "it is a cat":

Spanish: Es un gato
Portuguese: É um gato
Italian: È un gatto

Come on, you're not even trying to make it different! These aren't different languages, these are accents!

One of the reasons why Jose Mourinho can speak five languages (English, Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, French) is that three of them are pretty much the same.

Speaks about 2.5 languages

So while native English speakers are rubbish at learning languages, that's partly because there are no quick wins for us. Any new language is harder for an English-speaker than Spanish, Portuguese or French would for the Italian.

However. Whichever language you come from you need to buckle down and learn the word for butterfly. It's completely different in each major European language.

Look at spider, nice and easy:

Fr: araignée

Sp: araña

It: ragno

German goes with "Spinne", which is fine - you can see the common root with English (and obviously arachnid with the Romance "languages"). 

But check out the humble butterfly. What the fuck's going on here?

Eng: butterfly

Fr: papillon

Sp: mariposa

It: farfalla 

Ger: Schmetterling

Why did we all feel the need to make up our own word for this guy?

Proclaiming the Proclaimers are brilliant

The original title of this post was "The Proclaimers: Britain's most underrated band?"

After spending a bit of time "researching" on YouTube I realise I sell them hilariously short. They are obviously Britain's most underrated band. And they will continue to be so until British popular opinion catches up with the obvious: they are the only British band to give the Fall any competition as the greatest ever.

Allow me to make my case…

Bubbling sauerkraut.

Aspergers Test

It's not hard to tell the difference between these two bears, is it? I can do it at a glance. My Dad and my wife don't score much above random.

Klaus Klawski and Pedro Almodobear

I think they're a bit aspie.